I Love Being A Dad – So What Am I Missing
I love being a dad to my beautiful 10 month old baby. From day one, he has brought a smile to my face, a reason to be the best person that I can be, and a source of entertainment, amusement, and love. I would do anything for him, including waking up at 5am on the weekends, and sacrificing buying new clothes and toys for myself so that he can have new clothes and toys. But that seems so insignificant compared to the joy he brings me. I would make those sacrifices, and more, a thousand times over knowing that he has the best life he possibly can.

My son and I have a good relationship. Every day when I come home from work he turns his head from what he’s doing to see who it is at the door. A huge smile comes across his face when he sees that daddy has come home. (OK, it’s possible that he has the same reaction to other people, but for the purposes of my story let’s just say that it’s a unique reaction reserved for me.) He loves getting horsey rides from daddy, being chased around the house by “daddy-monster”, and sitting on daddy’s shoulder, high above everyone else. He loves watching football with me and doing the touchdown dance when our team scores. We’re best of friends.
So what am I missing? Unfortunately, I cannot comfort my son. When he falls and bumps his head, it’s always mommy that he looks for. When my wife is busy, I am usually able to distract his attention by bouncing him or tossing him in the air, but he will not be soothed until mommy comes to provide him with the hugs that he needs (my hugs are unappreciated at this time). When he wakes up at night my attempts to comfort him most often result in a worse screaming fit than when I came into his room. But he almost always manages to calm down just as soon as he lands in mommy’s arms. This is certainly not a result from lack of trying. And after 10 months of this type of reaction I must be honest – I am getting totally discouraged from even trying anymore. It’s not the time that I want to share with my son, feeling no better than a stranger, that somehow I make the situation worse.

What is the reason for this behaviour? Is it because I only had two weeks of vacation off from work when he was born while my wife got to spend every moment of his first seven months with him? Is it because mommy is the source of food, at all times, while I am limited to putting food on his highchair tray? If that’s so, why is it that my son is more easily comforted by his grandmother (who daycare’s for us three times a week) than me? Is this the same treatment that all fathers receive? I wonder when/how this will ever change (I’m not saying if as I am sure it couldn’t last forever). Nothing has changed so far, so what is the catalyst that improves my standing with him?

I love being a dad and I love my son. And I look forward to the day when he can express his love for me.

~Darren
Darren Joseph is Sarah's wonderful husband. He is an amazing partner, father, co-parent and friend. He works as an Engineering Technologist for the Township of Langley. Darren is an avid traveler and camper and enjoys playing disc golf and soccer when given the chance.

Labels: comfort, crying, dad, darren, Relationship

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