Working mom….but I don’t want to be
I had planned to write a series of articles about my hunt to find shared care, the ideal solution to financial concerns and the desire to stay home with my son. But the hunt was cut short when reality hit me with a harsh blow.

I have to go back to work full-time and although I don’t really want to, I know it’s best for my family…I mean I think it is.

My hope was to go back to my job part-time and share care with another mom who also works part-time. That way we could both work, but avoid day care costs. But my plan fizzled out when my company turned down my request to return in a newly created part-time position for my department. It’s understandable given the economy these days, but it stinks.

So my choice was to look for part-time work elsewhere, or go back full-time and have my husband stay home. My husband is a freelance photographer, so the decision was pretty simple. It will be much easier for him to find part-time gigs to bring in that half an income. The hope is that he will find work on weekends and the odd weekday, so that we will only need to find limited care.

I know that our decision is the best for our family but I’m sad. I don’t want to leave my baby. I want to stay home and take care of him, and play with him, and go visit our friends. Sure I’m tired all the time, and this job is pretty demanding, but I love it. I feel like motherhood is my calling.
Part of this experience is making me curse those feminists. I want to be that “Sally Home-maker” who just looks after her family. What’s so wrong with that? But I did go to school for five years and got two degrees, so I should use them. And I do appreciate the choice to stay home or work. I guess I shouldn’t curse the feminists.

A big upside to the situation is that my husband will get to live in my shoes for a bit. I think that’ll make baby number two easier for us to handle. And I know he’ll be great. There will be a learning curve, especially in terms of “When I was at home I cleaned and cooked….so now you get to.” But we’ll find common ground and get to a comfortable place.

I guess this crossroads is one that many parents face. I’d love to hear some other stories and advice on how other parents came to terms with returning to work.

~Michelle

Labels: baby, Daycare, maternity leave, Michelle, part-time, Shared Care, working

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