Happy Holidays
In the spirit of the holiday season we are going to take a holiday from blogging! We'll be back in the New Year with some great posts, exciting guest bloggers and some fabulous give-aways. We hope you'll be back to check us out then.



Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday season.

Labels: Gifts, holidays

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Tortured to sleep
I have been letting my baby cry it out since he was six weeks old. Well kind of. I never let him “scream” it out until he was about 7 months old. But I never minded if he whined to sleep. But now that he’s 10 months old, he still has to cry it out sometimes. And it kills me.

I thought it would take about a week of crying it out, and then it would be smooth sailing. Well, Joshua’s been able to fall asleep on his own since he was six weeks old, but at least five times a week he does not want to go to sleep even though he’s tired and I have to leave him to cry himself to sleep.

Every time I leave and he starts crying my heart breaks and I feel like a crappy mom. But then I don’t want him to need to be rocked or breast fed to sleep, so I stick to my guns and let him cry it out. I should clarify, though. My “crying it out” is to let him cry for five minutes, go in and comfort him, then leave again, and continue the cycle until he falls asleep.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m doing it wrong or if I’m always going to have to deal with him crying himself to sleep sometimes. I know he’s not in pain, but I just can’t stand the sound of him really crying. And then when I do go in and he has little tears in his eyes and snot all over his nose I feel like such a mean mom. This is seriously the most stressful part of my day. When will it end?

~Michelle

Labels: baby, cry it out, crying, Michelle, sleep, sleep training

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Classic Creamy Salad Redox Number Two
Last time we did a spin on the traditional creamy cole slaw and this time we turn to a perennial favourite…the caesar salad. We are actually going to redox a redox because originally the caesar wasn’t creamy but somewhere along the line the creamy version became the standard.

Here is my mom’s divine version of the classic caesar (minus the raw egg – but you can add it if you want) and my favourite salad when I was growing up.

Classic Caesar Salad

1 cup oil
¼ cup lemon juice
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 cloves garlic (or more if you’re like me)
1 tsp anchovy paste
1 tsp hot mustard (powder or you can just substitute some Dijon if need be)
Salt & pepper to taste

Mix ingredients thoroughly. Prepare romaine lettuce. Sprinkle a healthy dose of Parmesan cheese on the leaves before tossing with the dressing. Add croutons if that suits your fancy.

PS: If you were thinking of skipping the anchovy paste I would really recommend against it. It just won’t be the same.

~Laura

Labels: Caesar Salad, Cooking, Laura, salads

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Torn Between Two Places
I was born and raised in Kingston, Ontario. My husband was born and raised here in BC. The majority of my family and many of my friends still live in Ontario and I miss them dearly, especially since Parker was born.

Since Parker’s birth I’ve had several visitors from home and we’ve been to Kingston once. This still does not begin to fill the void that these special people’s absence has left. We are currently living on one salary, and there’s no maternity because I was a student, so flying home more often isn’t an option.

It’s awful to feel so torn between two places. I love the people in Ontario but I love BC. I’m thankful that my husband’s nuclear family live near us, but unfortunately it doesn’t completely fill the void of my own family. Nor does it provide the same type of support network we would have in Ontario, basically I have a bigger family so there would be more support.
I often ponder what it would be like if we lived in Ontario. If I lived in Ontario, Parker would have the opportunity to grow up surrounded by other kids. My extended family is large and they enjoy spending time together; there are always loads of kids running around on any given occasion. We’d have the ability to rely on the help of my siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to help raise our children (there are more kids to come! Or at least one more.).
With that said, moving to Kingston is not really in the cards. My husband and I met in BC and I’ve been here for over ten years now and we love it. I envision us raising our family in BC where the tress grow tall, the ocean is a short drive away and the mountains always take your breath away when they peak through the clouds to remind you that they are there. Now if only all the people I love would just move to BC, life would be perfect. Soon we’ll have the "More Than A Village" website to help us find other families in our area that Parker can grow up with (fingers crossed) and that will help.
~Sarah

Labels: baby, BC, extended family, nuclear family, Ontario, Sarah, travelling, visitors

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Classic Creamy Salad Redox Number One
I love salads but I’m not really a big fan of the creamy varieties. Here is the first recipe in my two part series on salad recipes that are typically served with creamy dressings but are sooooo much better with these healthier oil-based versions.

Cole Slaw has always been kinda gross to me a) because it’s hard to be appealing when you have slaw in your name and b) because of the creamy dressing but this one is super tasty. This one is a favorite of my family and always makes an appearance at large family gatherings because it is so popular.


Killer Cole Slaw

½ cabbage chopped
5 green onions chopped
¼ cup slivered almonds toasted
¼ cup sunflower seeds toasted (or sesame)
3oz pkg Japanese instant noodle soup mix (Save seasoning pkg for dressing)

Dressing
¼ cup rice vinegar (or white vinegar)
¼ cup salad oil
Seasoning pkg from noodles

Combine all of the ingredients for the salad stuff except the noodles. Toss with dressings. Crush noodles and toss in salad just before serving.

~Laura

Labels: cole slaw, Cooking, healthy, Laura, salads

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Working mom….but I don’t want to be
I had planned to write a series of articles about my hunt to find shared care, the ideal solution to financial concerns and the desire to stay home with my son. But the hunt was cut short when reality hit me with a harsh blow.

I have to go back to work full-time and although I don’t really want to, I know it’s best for my family…I mean I think it is.

My hope was to go back to my job part-time and share care with another mom who also works part-time. That way we could both work, but avoid day care costs. But my plan fizzled out when my company turned down my request to return in a newly created part-time position for my department. It’s understandable given the economy these days, but it stinks.

So my choice was to look for part-time work elsewhere, or go back full-time and have my husband stay home. My husband is a freelance photographer, so the decision was pretty simple. It will be much easier for him to find part-time gigs to bring in that half an income. The hope is that he will find work on weekends and the odd weekday, so that we will only need to find limited care.

I know that our decision is the best for our family but I’m sad. I don’t want to leave my baby. I want to stay home and take care of him, and play with him, and go visit our friends. Sure I’m tired all the time, and this job is pretty demanding, but I love it. I feel like motherhood is my calling.
Part of this experience is making me curse those feminists. I want to be that “Sally Home-maker” who just looks after her family. What’s so wrong with that? But I did go to school for five years and got two degrees, so I should use them. And I do appreciate the choice to stay home or work. I guess I shouldn’t curse the feminists.

A big upside to the situation is that my husband will get to live in my shoes for a bit. I think that’ll make baby number two easier for us to handle. And I know he’ll be great. There will be a learning curve, especially in terms of “When I was at home I cleaned and cooked….so now you get to.” But we’ll find common ground and get to a comfortable place.

I guess this crossroads is one that many parents face. I’d love to hear some other stories and advice on how other parents came to terms with returning to work.

~Michelle

Labels: baby, Daycare, maternity leave, Michelle, part-time, Shared Care, working

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I Love Being A Dad – So What Am I Missing
I love being a dad to my beautiful 10 month old baby. From day one, he has brought a smile to my face, a reason to be the best person that I can be, and a source of entertainment, amusement, and love. I would do anything for him, including waking up at 5am on the weekends, and sacrificing buying new clothes and toys for myself so that he can have new clothes and toys. But that seems so insignificant compared to the joy he brings me. I would make those sacrifices, and more, a thousand times over knowing that he has the best life he possibly can.

My son and I have a good relationship. Every day when I come home from work he turns his head from what he’s doing to see who it is at the door. A huge smile comes across his face when he sees that daddy has come home. (OK, it’s possible that he has the same reaction to other people, but for the purposes of my story let’s just say that it’s a unique reaction reserved for me.) He loves getting horsey rides from daddy, being chased around the house by “daddy-monster”, and sitting on daddy’s shoulder, high above everyone else. He loves watching football with me and doing the touchdown dance when our team scores. We’re best of friends.
So what am I missing? Unfortunately, I cannot comfort my son. When he falls and bumps his head, it’s always mommy that he looks for. When my wife is busy, I am usually able to distract his attention by bouncing him or tossing him in the air, but he will not be soothed until mommy comes to provide him with the hugs that he needs (my hugs are unappreciated at this time). When he wakes up at night my attempts to comfort him most often result in a worse screaming fit than when I came into his room. But he almost always manages to calm down just as soon as he lands in mommy’s arms. This is certainly not a result from lack of trying. And after 10 months of this type of reaction I must be honest – I am getting totally discouraged from even trying anymore. It’s not the time that I want to share with my son, feeling no better than a stranger, that somehow I make the situation worse.

What is the reason for this behaviour? Is it because I only had two weeks of vacation off from work when he was born while my wife got to spend every moment of his first seven months with him? Is it because mommy is the source of food, at all times, while I am limited to putting food on his highchair tray? If that’s so, why is it that my son is more easily comforted by his grandmother (who daycare’s for us three times a week) than me? Is this the same treatment that all fathers receive? I wonder when/how this will ever change (I’m not saying if as I am sure it couldn’t last forever). Nothing has changed so far, so what is the catalyst that improves my standing with him?

I love being a dad and I love my son. And I look forward to the day when he can express his love for me.

~Darren
Darren Joseph is Sarah's wonderful husband. He is an amazing partner, father, co-parent and friend. He works as an Engineering Technologist for the Township of Langley. Darren is an avid traveler and camper and enjoys playing disc golf and soccer when given the chance.

Labels: comfort, crying, dad, darren, Relationship

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Making Baby Food
I have been making baby food for five months now. Pretty much everything my little guy puts in his month I have made. I take pride in being able to say this and just like with breastfeeding, I know I’m doing what is best for my baby.

I am no chef, as I described in "Experimenting with Cooking". I’m pretty new to this whole culinary thing. I don’t usually enjoy cooking but I enjoy making baby food. There is something heart-warming about hearing "mmmm" as your baby enjoys food you created especially for him.
I chose to make my baby food because I wanted to avoid the cost, preservatives and environmental damage associated with purchasing jarred baby food (due to production, distribution, etc). I don’t always make the most environmentally friendly choices but I do try to when I can. So while I was pregnant my husband and I tried to figure out how we could raise our baby in the most eco-friendly way possible without breaking the bank.

We didn’t re-do the nursery in eco friendly products but we did decide to breastfeed, make our own baby food and use cloth diapers. I also like knowing exactly what goes in to my baby’s food and this way I get to choose. We buy as much locally grown, free run, organics as we can. With that said, we have used disposable diapers and Parker has had jarred baby food on occasion but because it isn’t an everyday thing we feel that we are still making a difference.
I won’t lie, making your own baby food does take effort and time, but I’ve devised a method that has worked for me and made the whole thing way less overwhelming. Once a week I make either a lunch or dinner meal and a desert. This basically takes a couple hours of chopping, baking, blending and storing. Kidco Healthy Snack Multi-Slicer saves me time chopping and I use Kidco hand mill or my food processor to blend. Then I freeze everything in ice cube trays or Baby Cubes. After the food is frozen in cubes I put the servings in labeled freezer Ziploc bags. This process allows me to adjust the texture of the food to suit my growing baby, I can add new foods and I have a constant supply.

If you are considering making your own baby food, I say go for it! The pride I feel is well worth the efforts I put in.

Do you make your own baby food? If so, how do you keep it from becoming overwhelming? What products have worked best for you?

~Sarah

Labels: baby, baby food, baking, Cooking, envirometally responsible, Sarah

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Supplementing with Formula…Update & Thanks
Last week I wrote about Supplementing with Formula and was overwhelmed by the amount of support, information and advice I received. I wanted to take the time to say thank-you to everyone who read my post and especially to those that took the time to comment.

Thankfully, I haven’t had much need for breastfeeding support outside of my little mom’s group. However, when I have had a question I just hash tag breastfeeding on Twitter and have received a ton of support and advice without leaving the comfort of my home. I am very grateful for these ladies who are so passionate about breastfeeding that they take time from their own busy schedules to offer support and non-judgmental advice to complete strangers. To you I say Thank-You!

Of course, I must also send out a big thanks to my friends who have been there to support me and offer suggestions throughout my breastfeeding journey. I’m so glad to have you on my support team.

As for the update, Parker and I are still breastfeeding. He just turned 10 months old. He is up to three meals of solid food now and is enjoying feeding himself finger foods. Parker has several food sensitivities including cow’s milk protein, so we are both on strict diets. He usually breastfeeds about 6 times a day; four times during the day and twice at night. He is still gaining weight and growing taller everyday.

I did decide to try out the formula (Alimentum Hypoallergenic). I chose the hypoallergenic for two reasons. First because Parker does have a sensitivity to soy. Although he has been fine when I eat soy products, I didn’t want to chance giving it to him directly. Secondly, I am not convinced that soy products are a safe alternative to milk for babies. From what I’ve read, soy products usually contain high levels of estrogen and have been linked to increase incidents of breast/ovarian cancer in girls. It can also cause blotting, gas and make children feel full resulting in them consuming less solid foods.

I certainly didn’t want the formula feeding to replace breastfeeding. I received some information that it may decrease my own milk supply so as of right now, Parker receives one 4 ounce bottle on the days I’m away. I still pump and have started to build up my freezer stash again. I feel that this way I am relieving the pressure I was feeling about pumping and still being able to continue breastfeeding. Apparently Parker doesn’t want the formula feeding to replace breastfeeding either. He will happily take the formula when I’m away but will have no part of it if I’m in the house (insert heartwarming smile here).


Thanks again for all your support and advice. We wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.

~Sarah

Labels: Boobs, Breast feeding, formula, pumping, Sarah

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Peanut Pasta With Punch
Being a vegetarian, I am always on the lookout for tasty and easy veggie meals. Recently I have started thinking some more about how to incorporate my vegetarianism into parenthood so I have my eyes peeled for kid-friendly veggie recipes.

No whether this one is kid-friendly or not I don’t know so if you give it a go let me know how it fares. It’s main ingredient (peanut butter) is a kid fave though so I think it has potential. The PB will appeal to kids and the spices make it appealing and interesting to adults (don’t worry it’s not too spicy though).

Let’s call this recipe:

Peanut Pasta With Punch

1 tbsp. Vegetable oil
2 tbsp. Finely chopped onion
1 clove garlic (minced)
2 tsp grated ginger root
2 sliced green onions
1 tsp. Chinese chilli paste
1 tbsp soy sauce
½ tsp ground coriander
½ tsp ground cumin
¼ cup smooth peanut butter
¾ buttermilk or vegetable broth
1 lb. Noodles (spaghetti, linguine, fresh Chinese noodles, whatever floats your boat)

Begin cooking the pasta in boiling, salted water until tender.

Heat the oil in a saucepan and sauté the onion, garlic and ginger. Then add the paste, soy and spices. Add the peanut butter next and stir until smooth and then add the broth. Feel free to thin out the sauce with more milk or broth to make sure you can pour it.

Feel free to add veggies to the mix if you want to make a full meal out this dish. I think Asian type veggies work best with the sauce, snow peas, broccoli, baby corn, etc.

Enjoy!!

~Laura

Labels: Cooking, Laura, Peanut Pasta with Punch, Recipe, vegetarian

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Supplementing with Formula
Last week Parker had his ninth month check up with his doctor. I asked if he might not be getting enough breast milk. My doctor told me that he requires 24-32 ounces of milk per day and asked how much he was getting. That’s a hard question to answer, as there is no measurement gauge on my breast.

As I am away from Parker doing my practicum three times a week, I pump for those days. His grandmother cares from him during that time and reports that he often wants more milk than I have provided. I have not been able to pump more than three ounces. So I made the assumption that he gets approximately three to four ounces at each feeding. Some quick math revealed that if he gets only three ounces than he is not getting the recommended amounts and the doctor said I should introduce formula as a supplement.

I was torn as to whether I should follow her advice or not. Firstly, this was only our second time seeing this doctor and she didn’t seem familiar with Parker’s chart (she had no idea that he had allergies, specifically to cow’s milk protein). I also felt that she didn’t take the time to evaluate the situation. Secondly, she didn’t explain how to supplement with formula. I have breastfeed exclusively for 9 months, I have no idea how to introduce formula now and she didn’t seem to have the time to explain it.

I love breastfeeding; the ease of feeding my baby, the knowledge that I’m doing what is best for him and the bond that we share is an amazing experience. However, if I’m being honest about it, supplementing with formula would take some pressure and stress off of me with regards to the pumping situation. I feel a lot of pressure to supply bottles to my childcare provider and I tend to get very stressed about it, especially when I am not able to pump enough in one sitting for one feeding. Supplementing with formula would relieve me from some of those feelings.


With that said, I certainly do not want to give up breastfeeding. I also do not want to leave my child wanting for more. What to do? Can I do both? Should I do both?

~Sarah

Labels: bottle, Breast feeding, formula, Sarah

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Easy Homemade Christmas Gift
Need a few small Christmas gifts for teachers, Christmas party/dinner host or party favours? Want to get your kids involved? Don’t want to spend a fortune or a lot of time? Try making this great homemade gift.

What you’ll need;

A big bowl and wooden spoon for mixing the spices.

Spice Jars (can get them at the dollar store).

Spices from your recipe (cheaper to buy in bulk).

Ribbon, twist-tie bows (the dollar store is great) and scissors.

Recipe of your choice (best to chose one that calls for equal amount of each spice)—either typed & printed or handwritten.

What to do:

Have the amount of spice you need prepared. Have your child pour each spice into a big bowl and mix them all together well.

Next, have you child fill each spice jar with the mixture. Fasten the lid and clean excess spice from outside of jar.

Roll the recipe into a scroll and fasten with twist-tie from bow. Fasten bow with recipe to jar with ribbon.




Here’s the recipe & spices I used:

Spices: Equal parts of Cumin, Coriander, Cinnamon and Ginger. I called it Moroccan Spice.

Recipe:

Tagine

2 tbsp olive oil
1 brown Onion
Stewing Beef/Chicken/Lamb
3 Carrots
3 Russet Potatoes
1 green & red pepper
2 tbsp Moroccan Spice
2 cups Chicken stock
1-cup mammoth green olives
½ golden raisins

Warm olive oil in a large pot or Dutch oven. Brown onion, than stir in Moroccan Spice. Add salt & pepper. Add chicken stock and simmer for 1 hour. Add veggies &simmer ‘til tender. Add olives & raisins. Serve over couscous.

As an alternative; Make it a vegetarian tagine by using chick peas instead of meat or Add veggies & fruit of your choice, simmer ‘til tender...dried apricots would make a tasty addition.

~Sarah

Labels: Christmas, Cooking, Gifts, homemade, hosts, kids, spices, tagine, teachers

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Getting a good days sleep
I have never been a good napper. I hate napping. I wake up feeling ill and groggy. But I knew that once I had a baby I was supposed to sleep while he slept in order to get enough rest. And I like a lot of sleep. So I worked really hard at the naps.

But napping is not easy, at least not for me. It usually takes me at least half an hour to get to sleep, and when my child is only sleeping for 45 minutes to an hour at a time, it does not make for much of a nap.

So I set out to learn how to have a good nap. Here are some of the pointers I got:

• Get comfortable. Sleep in a comfortable bed and wear comfortable clothes
• Make it feel like night. Dark and quite. Try an eye mask.
• Try to quite your brain by concentrating on your breath rather than what the rest of the day holds
• Keep warm

As a mom who naps while her baby naps, I find that getting us both into napping mode helps me to sleep quicker. Half an hour before nap time I breastfeed, which I find quite calming. Then I let the baby play for a bit and I read a book or do something equally as relaxing. Then as the precursor to going to bed I rock the baby for five minutes or so.

I’ve also learned that if I want to sleep during the morning nap, then I’m best to avoid my morning tea, and to take it easy in the morning rather than get busy cleaning.

Napping is still a struggle for me. Mostly because I’d rather be doing something other than sleeping, with my free time! But being well rested and happy when my partner comes home is worth sacrificing an hour to watch TV, or vacuum ☺

~Michelle

Labels: baby, Michelle, nap, napping, sleep

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Cranberry Shortbread Thumb Cookies
Christina from Thoughts From a Lite Mocha Mom had the indigenous idea to have a virtual cookie exchange. I am excited to take part. My favorite Christmas cookie recipe is a new addition to our regular Christmas goodies. I made them last year for the first time and they were a big hit. I found a couple recipes on-line at Chatelaine- Recipes and adjusted them to make what I had in mind. Hope your family and friends enjoy them as much as mine has.

Cranberry Shortbread Thumb Cookies

Ingredients:
340 g pkg /3 cups (750ml) frozen or fresh cranberries
1 ½ cups (375ml) granulate sugar
1 large orange
1 cup (250 mL) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup (125 mL) icing sugar
11/2 cups (375 mL) all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt

Directions for Cranberry sauce; (can be done a day or two in advance)

Preheat oven to 325F (160C). If using frozen cranberries, place in a colander, then rinse under cold running water until partially thawed, about 2 minutes. Pat dry with paper towels. Place frozen or fresh cranberries in an 8-inch (2-L) baking dish or pie plate. Sprinkle with sugar. Finely grate 1 tablespoon (15 mL) peel from orange and squeeze out 1/2 cup (125 mL) juice. Stir peel and juice into cranberry mixture.

Bake, uncovered, in preheated 325F (160C) oven until cranberries break down and begin to thicken into a sauce-like consistency, about 1 hour. Stir halfway through baking.

Remove from oven and use hand blender to puree sauce a bit. The sauce will thicken even more as it cools. Set aside cranberry sauce. You can use any left-over sauce for dinner! This is also a great recipe for your holiday cranberry sauce needs.

Directions for Cookies:

Preheat oven to 325F (160C). Lightly spray baking sheet with parchment paper. Beat butter and sugar in a large bowl. In a small bowl, stir flour with salt. Gradually stir into butter mixture. Pinch off about 1 tbsp (15 mL) dough and roll into a ball. Place on sheet. Continue with remaining dough, spacing balls 1 in. (2.5 cm) apart. Press down to flatten slightly and with your thumb create an indent for the cranberry sauce. Add approximately 1 tsp of cranberry sauce to each thumb indent.

Bake in centre of oven until tops are light golden, 12 to 15 min. Remove baking sheet to a wire rack. Let cookies cool for 5 min before removing from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Repeat with remaining dough. Then refrigerate in an airtight container up to 1 week or freeze up to 2 months.

~Sarah

Labels: baking, cookies, Cooking, Cranberry Shortbread Thumb Cookies, Thoughts from a Lite Mocha Mom, virtual cookie exchange

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To Procreate or Not to Procreate? That is the Question. Part III
Quick recap people: So far my two main issues with having kids are the toll it will take on my relationship with my husband and the toll it could take on the planet.

I have thought seriously of adopting ever since I got married mainly because of my concern that the world is already over populated and that by having kids I will kind of be a hypocrite because I’ve always maintained that there are too many of us humans running around screwing things up.

Honestly, it just breaks my heart to think of all those children out there desperately wanting someone to love them. I know first hand how easy it is to fall in love with a child that isn’t biologically yours because, as a teacher, there were kids that I just adored so much that I would have taken them home with me if they were in need of a family.

There are some clear advantages to adopting. One is that you get to help a child in need. You also have the opportunity to actually get to know each other and see if your personalities gel (with older kids of course). Of course there are the advantages that aren’t as high-minded like avoiding pregnancy/birth and the effect it has on the body and bypassing that first sleepless year.

Now, parents who have biological children will tell you that there is nothing in the world like having a baby and I am sure that’s true. However, only the people who have done both, conceived and adopted, really know the difference between the two, if there is one. Of course it isn’t exactly PC to say “My adopted kid is great and all, but I just love my own flesh and blood sooooo much more”, so it can be hard to get an honest answer.

I have thought a lot about doing both, adopting and giving birth, but my concern is that no matter what I do my adopted child would always feel less loved. I actually worry that I might overcompensate and pay less attention to my biological child just to avoid this. I’ve since thought that a way to avoid this might be to adopt siblings, as they are often split up. It would allow them to still have someone with “their own blood” in their life, someone they can see themselves reflected in.

If anyone out there has any experience with this, first hand or otherwise, I’d love to hear it. I could definitely use a helping hand.

~Laura

Labels: adoption, baby, Laura, Procreate

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Making Whoopee After having a Baby... (Guest Blogger)
I can almost count on one hand how many times my husband and I have had sex since our daughter was born ten months ago.

Sex has become a chore since the baby was born. Sometimes the "S" word is marked down on the weekly list of things to get done around the house...... "get milk, scrub the toilet, have sex tonight, and do the laundry."

I have tried many different methods of avoiding sex. I will stay up way later than I'd like and crawl into bed hours after my husband has, claiming I have a bad headache, or that "Aunt Flow" is visiting.

And, I finally give in......... I'm not going to beat around the brush, when it comes down to doing the deed, I prefer it to last as long as the commercials do during my favourite TV shows. I feel it is more necessary to know who is getting kicked off the “Biggest Loser” or who is sleeping with whom on “Grey's Anatomy”. Yes, it is true, I am way more interested to know about the sex lives of some made up drama on TV than I am interested in my own bedroom romance.

It's not like I am insecure about the stretch marks on my stomach or the loose belly skin that I am sporting these days. I actually like my body more now than before I gave birth. I think my body is incredible for what it has done, and my breasts and butt just seem so much perkier since my daughter arrived. I guess what I am saying is; "I would have sex with me if the shoe was on the other foot!"

I am lucky to have a husband who will love me no matter what, and trust me I have been a little rough around the edges many times through out our ten year relationship. He has never been one to fuss in the bedroom either, but these days I think he is feeling a little left out of the sack. And, it doesn't have anything to do with not having a connection with my husband. In fact I think we have a better and stronger relationship now then before becoming parents. He is my confidant, best friend and co-parent.

But why do I hate SEX? I am looking for your thoughts? Tell me how you and your partner got back into the groove after your child/children were born.

~Annelise

Annelise is the mother to 10 month old Charlize, wife, artist and entrepreneur. Check out her magical children's art work at her new website.

Labels: Annelise, baby, parents, Relationship, sex, whoopee

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How to Talk About Difficult Topics: Part Two
As I mentioned in my introduction, I am currently completing my final Social Work practicum at Maple Ridge Family Education and Support Centre. One of my tasks is to research and write curriculum for new parent education courses.

I’ve been working on a course called ‘How to Talk to your Children about Difficult Topics’ and, in my last post, I discussed a number of things to keep in mind when discussing these types of things with your children. In this post I’d like to offer up some ways for us start a dialogue with our kids and support them in asking questions and making decisions:

➢ Use books to open the door to conversation, age-appropriate books will help our children find ways to voice questions or concerns.

➢ Use a personal story. Sharing our feelings around, for example ‘our first kiss’ helps our children see that we have been through a similar experience.

➢ Use everyday opportunities to talk about these subjects i.e.: after watching a TV show where someone was using drugs have a conversation about drugs, or after seeing a pregnant woman ask our kids if they know how the baby got in her belly to start a conversation about sex.

➢ Role play ways to say ‘no’: i.e.: "No, thanks. Let's play with my Wii instead," or "No thanks. I don't drink beer. I need to keep in shape for soccer."

➢ Use nature to talk about death. Buy a goldfish or a flower so our children can observe fist hand what ‘dead’ means.

I would love your feedback on this two part post. Did you find this information useful? Do you have any tips I should add to my lists?

Maple Ridge Family Education and Support Centre is a not-for-profit society that has provided programs to the communities of Maple Ridge and Pitt Meadows, BC since 1971. For more information about their programs and services please see their website.

~Sarah

Labels: death, divorce, drugs, Maple Ridge Family Education and Support Centre, Parent Ed, Sarah, sex

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