Positive Discipline
Discipline is a process by which we teach our children to become self-disciplined. Our discipline style can teach them many things. For example punishment can teach children to resent and fear us. While positive discipline can teach children those mistakes are experiences to learn from rather than experiences where they should feel accused or judged.
Positive discipline is a way to discipline that does not include yelling, threatening, spanking or hitting. It involves showing respect, providing encouragement, applying logical consequences, being firm, consistent, providing choices and teaching problem solving. It is neither permissive nor punitive.
Positive discipline teaches children to respect themselves and others, concern for others, problem solving, cooperation and that they are capable.
Last month I wrote about our decision to eliminate the word ‘No’ from our vocabulary. This month we are taking it a step further and eliminating “Don’t” and trying to get rid of negative talk all together. Why you ask? Well try this (or try it on your partner); clear your mind completely. Now imagine anything you want, but what ever you do don’t picture a pink cow! Don’t think of a pink cow, anything but. Now, what did you see? A pink cow, right? That is because our brains cannot picture negatives. So when you say to your child, “Don’t stand on the chair”. All they can picture is standing on the chair.
It has certainly been a challenge. Each and every time I go to say “Don’t” I have to stop myself and think of a way to say it in positive terms. So when Parker is standing on his rocking chair, I say, “Parker, chairs are for sitting, please sit down”. Thus far I have found this new way of communicating to be effective and it has really made me feel happier. There is something about speaking more positively that really lifts your mood.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
~Sarah
Labels: disipline, Parent Ed, parenting, positive discipline, respect, Sarah
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