The End of Our Breastfeeding Relationship
I have been weaning Parker from breastfeeding for the last month or so. It is bitter sweet. When I became pregnant I was told by several friends how difficult breastfeeding can be. They warned me to start reading up on it right away and to be prepared for a challenge.
Well the reading didn’t prepare me it just scared me. Mastitis, Thrush, engorgement, plugged ducts, oh my! Inverted nipples, really? I had no idea I had inverted nipples. I feared I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed as I read that inverted nipples could impair a proper latch.
Thankfully, Parker latched on with no problems about 30 minutes after his birth. With the help of my Doula and midwives I learned a few different ways to hold him and latch him. However my real teacher was Parker. He showed me the way he liked to be held, when he wanted to eat, when he’d had enough and that he could latch on no problem. It really has been a match made in heaven.
After 12 months of breastfeeding with no more problems save a cracked nipple or two, we decided to move on. I say we because I don’t feel like I made this decision by myself. Parker did have a say. He showed me that he could take a bottle of formula and enjoy it. He showed me that sometimes he’d rather have a sip of water. And he has shown me that he is ready to be weaned by not fighting for the breast during the weaning process.
I started thinking about weaning when we had a pregnancy scare (scare – cause I’m not ready yet) a couple months ago. It made me realize that I wanted my body back for a little while before I became pregnant again. I know women who have gone from being pregnant to nursing to being pregnant again to nursing for years. I am in awe of these women. I think it is amazing and completely self-less. However, I am not one of them. I am glad I recognized this when I did as I want to get pregnant again within the next year (perhaps) and I want to breastfeed my next baby. I want to walk into that relationship with the same excitement and enthusiasm as I did with Parker. I am not sure that would be possible without weaning now.
So as of right now, Parker breastfeeds once a day, right before he goes down at night. We enjoy this time together and I’m sure we will miss it when it’s over. Just writing this has brought a tear to my eye (ok, truth is I’m sobbing). I know I have made the right decision for my family and myself but that doesn’t mean that it is going to be an easy process. It is nice that I can take my time with this last step and ensure that we are both ready for our breastfeeding relationship to end before completely weaning. I don’t know when that will be, but I know it’s not tomorrow, and that is just fine with me.
~Sarah
Labels: baby, Breast feeding, formula, mother, nursing, Sarah, weaning
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