Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms
As Laura mentioned last week in her post; Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, we thought it would be interesting to be advocates for both sides of the age-old argument. Last week Laura presented the case for working moms and for this entry I will be presenting the case for the stay-at-home mom.

DISCLAIMER: I just want to make it clear that neither Laura nor I are critical of either working moms or stay at home moms. A mom is a mom in our book but for the purposes of playing devil’s advocate for one side of the argument we are, just for these blog entries, “choosing sides”.

Let me just clarify something here – just because a mother is a SAHM doesn’t mean she isn’t a “working mom”. Let’s face it, most of us can not afford to live off of one income. Many of the SAHMs I know do work outside the home, or from home, to make a financial contribution to their families. They simply choose to do so in a way that allows them to continue to be the main caregiver of their children. This may include part-time work during evenings and weekends when their partners are available to care for the children or it may include sneaking in home-based work whenever a free moment arises. Not to mention how much work it is to be a SAHM!

The primary reason to be a SAHM is to have your children spend the majority of their time in your care. Some would say, “I didn’t have children for some stranger to raise them”, while others would say, “I just don’t want to miss a moment”. Whatever they say, I believe they all mean the same thing; you can’t get that time back. Our children grow so fast and the thought of missing out on any of it is heartbreaking.

A secondary reason may be to save money on childcare. Childcare is freaking expensive. Quality childcare is also really hard to find. So if you have to pay for and find space for more than one child it might not be worth it. Are you working to pay for childcare or paying for childcare to work?

Another reason to be a SAHM is the strength of positive parental relationships as a protective factor. So much of a child’s development happens within the first several years of life, the skills they learn and what they learn about their place in the world become the foundation upon which their whole life will be built. What better way to teach our children that they can count on us to be there for them than to actually be there. The consistent support of a caring adult also helps build self-esteem and autonomy.

Lastly, the SAHM gets to be a chauffeur, a chef, an accountant, a gardener, a teacher, a housekeeper, a nurse, and so much more all in one day. She is a defender of tradition and the connective tissue of our communities. They make are neighbourhoods safer by being present when others are not. They build community by meeting with other SAHMs at the park or in play groups, connecting with each other and connecting their children. Modeling to the world the value of family, the SAHM is more than just a mom or a working mom, she's everything to her kids.

~Sarah

Labels: Children, SAHM, Sarah, stay-at-home mom, working mom, working parents

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Working Moms vs Stay-at-Home Moms
Sarah and I thought it would be interesting to be advocates for both sides of the age-old argument, “Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home-Mom”.  For this entry I will be presenting the case for the working mom.

DISCLAIMER: I just want to make it clear that neither Sarah nor I are critical of either working moms or stay at home moms. A mom is a mom in our book but for the purposes of playing devil’s advocate for one side of the argument we are, just for these blog entries, “choosing sides”.

I remember reading an article a few years back on the sad life of the latch key kid (Latch key kids being ones that come home after school to an empty house because their mom (and/or Dad) was at work).  I remember feeling pretty outraged, not only because my life as a latch key kid wasn’t sad at all but also because there was the distinct smell of judgment surrounding the article…and I can’t have no one judging my momma!

Anyway, I started to think about what my life was like with a working mom and I realized all of the amazing bi-products of her decision to work.  First of all, I was able to spend quality time with my grandma and grandpa because they were my care givers in the early years when my mom worked part-time. 

Secondly, at the age of two, I went to playschool where I met my best friend, who, 30 years later, is still my best friend.  I think that demonstrates how valuable that early socialization can be.

Thirdly, once I was older and was able to be alone at the house, I actually really liked that time alone before my parents got home from work. I think one of the reasons my sister and I are such independent people is because we became quite self-sufficient early on. Also, because our parents had trust in us when we were home alone, we had trust in ourselves.

All those bonuses aside, the best part of having a working mom was having a mom that was genuinely excited to see me when she got home.  She was able to give me her full attention, listen intently to everything I had to say and really spend quality time with me because she was a working mom, not in spite of it.  Having that time away from me and my sister gave her the break that she needed so that when she was with us, she was REALLY with us.

Also, the feminist in me thinks that having the role model of a working mom that ran her own successful business was a good thing, as it has taught me to strive for success in my own career. Perhaps most importantly it demonstrated the value of having a life outside of your kids because I think she showed me that you can be an amazing mom and still tend to your needs, whether those are career-focused or otherwise.

Come back next week to see Sarah advocate for stay-at-home moms everywhere!

Labels: stay-at-home mom, working mom, working parents

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Recipe - Broccoli Supreme
I made this recipe last night. It was a big hit with both Parker and Darren. This recipe came from one of my mom’s cookbooks years ago. It originally called for a can of cream of chicken soup instead of the yogurt but due to Parker’s cow’s milk allergy I  had to get a bit creative. I also used goat’s cheddar cheese in ours but it hardly seems necessary to spend the extra money if you don’t need to. This makes a great chicken casserole but it could also be a wonderful veggie dish if you swapped out the chicken for some cauliflower.


Broccoli Supreme


Ingredients:
3 pieces boneless, skinless, chicken breasts or for a veggie alternative replace chicken with 2 cups of cauliflower
2 cups Broccoli
1 cup of Goat’s Yogurt (it tends to be thicker than cow’s yogurt)
½ cup of mayonnaise
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp lemon juice
1 cup grated cheddar cheese


Directions:
Cut chicken into 2 inch by 4 inch pieces and sprinkle with pepper. Sauté slowly in oil over medium heat until white and opaque, about 6 minutes. Drain and set aside. Steam broccoli until tender but still crisp. Arrange steamed broccoli in the bottom of a casserole dish. Place chicken on top. Mix yogurt, mayonnaise, curry powder, lemon juice and cheddar cheese and then pour over the broccoli and chicken. Bake uncovered at 375 degrees fahrenheit for approx 35 minutes. Serve over rice.


Enjoy,
Sarah

Labels: Broccoli, Broccoli Supreme, Chicken, Cooking, Recipe, vegetarian, veggies

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Saving for your Child's Education
I have to pat my husband and myself on the back (once in a while we actually deserve it) because one of the first things we did for Sam after he was born was open a savings account for his future education. As new parents, we had little money and less time. But we were resolute that Sam (and all of our future children) would have some help from us when he decides to go to post-secondary.

Oh, wait. We're supposed to put money in there now? Like, right now?

I'm kidding. We are.

It might seem like overkill to start saving so early, but consider how much University is going to cost by the time your kids are ready to go! We need as long as possible to save. Plus, it's kind of fun to look into your tiny baby's face and wonder what he'll want to be when he grows up. Astronaut? Fireman? International Man of Mystery?

Step 1 was successful: Start saving money.

Step 2 involved deciding how and where to save it. I thought this would be easy. I had heard about RESPs (Registered Education Saving Plans) and I thought you just went to the bank and opened one. As it turns out there are a lot of different options. GICs (Guaranteed Investment Certificates) and Mutual Funds both require a minimum amount of money to open and various levels of comfort with risk. The Canadian Scholarship Trust also offers RESPs and promises high returns with no risk. Most banks now also offer tax-free savings accounts which may have higher interest rates and the earnings are tax-sheltered. Only true RESPs can also net your kids government grants of up to $7200 depending on how much you contribute each year. Some people choose to put just enough money into their RESPs each year to max out the government grants then put any extra cash into a high interest or tax-free savings account.

Confused yet? To be truthful, I was lost at returns - risk - tax-shelter - what now? I haven't even decided where to save Sam's money yet. Maybe the sock drawer - I dunno. So I'm certainly not going to give any advice other than to go speak to your preferred financial institution about the options they offer - And remember to always comparison shop with different institutions for the plan that works best for your family!

Of course money is tight for everyone these days. So how do you balance the reality of today's bank account with the needs of your child 17 years from now? Personally, I'm using the Harper Government's $100 (taxed as income) Universal Child Care Benefit cheque that I get in the mail each month. Since there is no way that $100 a month will ever allow me to be a SAHM or even be choosey about the kind of child care I will be able to put Sam into when I do go back to work, it might as well go towards his future.

The fact of the matter is, you do with what you have. Maybe it's 5 dollars a month. Maybe it's a lot more. Any contribution we can make will help our kids focus on course selection instead of tuition deadlines. We're unlikely to be in a situation to cover the entire costs of our kids College or University. They'll have to work part-time, and there will definitely be dinners consisting of boxed mac & cheese once in a while. But that's part of the experience! I think it's necessary to have to work for the things in life that are important to you. But I also think it's important to have help with the things in life that are necessary.

Lawyer? Cowboy? Racecar driver?

~Jaime
Co-Founder & Editor

Skratch Publishing

Labels: Children's future, Education Savings, finances, RESPs, university

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The End of Our Breastfeeding Relationship
I have been weaning Parker from breastfeeding for the last month or so. It is bitter sweet. When I became pregnant I was told by several friends how difficult breastfeeding can be. They warned me to start reading up on it right away and to be prepared for a challenge.

Well the reading didn’t prepare me it just scared me. Mastitis, Thrush, engorgement, plugged ducts, oh my! Inverted nipples, really? I had no idea I had inverted nipples. I feared I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed as I read that inverted nipples could impair a proper latch.

Thankfully, Parker latched on with no problems about 30 minutes after his birth. With the help of my Doula and midwives I learned a few different ways to hold him and latch him. However my real teacher was Parker. He showed me the way he liked to be held, when he wanted to eat, when he’d had enough and that he could latch on no problem. It really has been a match made in heaven.

After 12 months of breastfeeding with no more problems save a cracked nipple or two, we decided to move on. I say we because I don’t feel like I made this decision by myself. Parker did have a say. He showed me that he could take a bottle of formula and enjoy it. He showed me that sometimes he’d rather have a sip of water. And he has shown me that he is ready to be weaned by not fighting for the breast during the weaning process.

I started thinking about weaning when we had a pregnancy scare (scare – cause I’m not ready yet) a couple months ago. It made me realize that I wanted my body back for a little while before I became pregnant again. I know women who have gone from being pregnant to nursing to being pregnant again to nursing for years. I am in awe of these women. I think it is amazing and completely self-less. However, I am not one of them. I am glad I recognized this when I did as I want to get pregnant again within the next year (perhaps) and I want to breastfeed my next baby. I want to walk into that relationship with the same excitement and enthusiasm as I did with Parker. I am not sure that would be possible without weaning now.

So as of right now, Parker breastfeeds once a day, right before he goes down at night. We enjoy this time together and I’m sure we will miss it when it’s over. Just writing this has brought a tear to my eye (ok, truth is I’m sobbing). I know I have made the right decision for my family and myself but that doesn’t mean that it is going to be an easy process. It is nice that I can take my time with this last step and ensure that we are both ready for our breastfeeding relationship to end before completely weaning. I don’t know when that will be, but I know it’s not tomorrow, and that is just fine with me.

~Sarah

Labels: baby, Breast feeding, formula, mother, nursing, Sarah, weaning

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My Olympic Hangover
Well, it’s official.  I’m in Olympics withdrawal.  After more than two weeks of incredible highs, heartbreaking lows and an unbridled patriotism that consumed this country and swept me along with it, I find that I am left with a deep sense of pride in our athletes, Vancouverites and our country in general.

I was lucky enough to get tickets to aerials, the closing ceremonies (which took campy, kitschy, silly fun to another level) and, the mother of all 2010 events, Men’s Gold Medal Hockey. For a time we thought seriously about selling our hockey tickets once we knew Canada was going to be there but, in the end, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. Okay maybe not anything. Hey, we all have our price, don’t we?  But you get the point.

It was incredible to be there in that sea of red with my fingers crossed and my heart pounding as the pressure mounted.  When the score was tied mere seconds before the end of the 3rd period I was completely paralyzed, mouth agape.  Paralysis quickly morphed into feeling sick to my stomach.  I was just so nervous for our players who had to bear the weight of an entire country's expectations on their shoulders.

When the winning goal was scored in overtime I literally thought I was going to explode with the excitement and relief of it all. I hugged every stranger in red I could get my hands on. As we all shuffled out of the stadium singing the anthem, cheering like mad and high-fiving on-duty police officers I felt what I think people all across the country felt; a kinship, a closeness, a sense that the elusive significance of what it means to be “Canadian” had somehow been found during these games.

It turns out it wasn’t just that we did, in a sense, “Own the Podium” and it wasn’t because we won the gold medal in hockey, though that was the proverbial icing on the cake; it was that we had all been waiting, it seems, for an excuse to wear our patriotism as a badge of honor rather than an emotion to hide (at least around people from other countries). And wear it we did, as pins, as badges, as t-shirts, as jerseys, as temporary tattoos and as body paint.

Now, as the streets are swept, the tents are taken down and the body paint shellacked to chests is scraped off, the high of the past 16 days is waning and the melancholy of knowing that an extraordinary time has now passed is setting in. However, the melancholy can’t last forever but what will last is the memory of a record number of gold medals, a hockey game that will go down in history and our collective experience of one hell of a party.

~Laura

Labels: 2010, Canada, Canadians, Laura, Olympics, Patriotism, Pride, Vancouver

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Contest Reminder
Last week we announced our new alternative therapies contest!! This one is really simple and we hope that by entering you will all be able to help each other find new (or old) ways of keeping your family healthy.

One of our guest bloggers Dr. Angela Foran of Meridian Flow Acupuncture has offered a free consultation and treatment (acupuncture or herbs or tuina massage) along with an information and sample kit. The consultation can take place over the phone, via email or in person. The contest is open to all Canadian residents.

As a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine Angela got us thinking about the ways we incorporate alternative therapies into our approach to healthy living and we decided to have our readers share the naturopathic, ayurvedic, homeopathic and other alternative practices that they (or their parents) have used over the years. This can be anything from acupuncture to using a spoon full of honey to soothe a sore throat, basically anything that falls outside the scope of typical western medicine.

For example, when I was a child and had a splinter of wood lodged in my finger, my Nana made a milk-bread concoction to extract it. She would heat up some milk on the stove, and then add a small piece of bread to suck up the milk. She would let it cool a bit, but not too much, just enough to avoid burning me. Than apply the saturated bread with a band-aid to my finger where it would stay until it had cooled completely. Amazingly the splinter would come to the surface of the skin where it could easily be extracted and the warm gooey feeling of the concoction on my skin was always comforting and entertaining.

So all you have to do to enter is share an alternative approach to health and wellness in the comments section below. You are allowed to enter a maximum of three times so think of all those "Old Wives’ Cures” and share with the rest of us. For each comment you will be entered in the draw for a free consultation and treatment (acupuncture or herbs or tuina massage) from Dr. Foran!!

Labels: contest

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Recipe – Stuffed Pork Chops
I haven’t shared any recipes in a while, I sort of fell off the cooking band-wagon for a while (to my husband’s dismay). So I’m climbing back on and I thought I’d share this recipe I got from my mom. It is a quick and easy way to have stuffed pork chops that taste delicious!

Stuffed Pork Chops

Ingredients:
2 or 4 Thick pork chops
½ cup bread crumbs
1 box stuffing
1 big apple, chopped.
1 tbsp cinnamon

Directions:
Cooked stuffing as instructed, add chopped apple and half the cinnamon. Slice the pork chops through the middle, almost cutting them in half as to make it 2 thin chops. Mix bread crumbs and other half of cinnamon. Coat pork chops with bread crumbs and then stuff with stuffing. There will be stuffing left over if you are only doing two chops. Bake at 350 for about one hour or until cooked through.

Enjoy,
Sarah

Labels: Cooking, Recipe, Sarah, stuffed pork chops

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